12.04.2008

i'm always liking

My husband's high school creative writing assignments.

He wrote them his junior year. This was also, coincidentally, the year we started dating. He was 17. They never ever get old.

Essay 43
Are glasses better than contacts? Looking at my fellow students I began to ask myself this question. I came up with this answer. I believe glasses are better than contacts. Assume for one moment that the earth loses its gravity. Contacts are too light; glasses would help to weigh you down. This means glasses are better because they help to save your life.

Essay 3
Ice cream
All I want is white
vanilla white ice cream
cone cone cone
woo hoo!!!
I WANT SPRINKLES TOO!!!!

This song is really about crack.
REPLACE ICE CREAM WITH CRACK
HA HA. CONE = PIPE

Essay 56
Someone should write a story where one of the main characters is in fact a bat. Think about this. When was the last time you read a book with a bat in it. It's been a long long time hasn't it? I think there was a Hardy Boys book about some vampire bats, but that doesn't really count. My bat's name will be something devastatingly cool... like Tortongo the Batty Bat! Tortongo. That is such a beautiful name. That is definitely what my son's name will be. Maybe not, then all the kids at his school would make fun of him. They would say, Ha! Ha! Look at Tortongo! He has the same name as the bat in his Father's book!

Please note that my husband was a very good kid who did not drink or do any type of drugs. He just liked writing about crack to get on his teacher's nerves. He found it hilarious. It is a recurring theme throughout his writings, to say the least. Crack, and Star Wars. Oh, and he did write a story the next year for the Literary Magazine entitled "Rufus The Gay Bat" as it seems he had second thoughts on Tortongo.

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