3.21.2009

reason #54 I should stop shopping while in a brain cloud

Something is wrong with my brain. I know I talk a lot about being tired, but I am. I'm tiiiiired.

The other night I needed a break and a loaf of bread, so I left the sleeping kids at home with Luke and went to Target. (I can't quit you Target but I need to FOR REAL. I just counted and I've been in four different Targets in the last week. Indianapolis! Land of Targets! Another post for another day.)

I purchased a $7.00 coffee maker (ours only works sometimes which is not nearly enough-- I figured having backup was worth $7.00), a pair of jeans, a four-pack of bottled Starbucks, a loaf of bread. And a box of wine. Or more accurately, a cube of wine.

I am generally not a wine drinker. I prefer beer, honestly. Good beer is delicious. Good wine tastes like... cheap wine. I cannot tell the difference. I tend to be picky and foodie about a lot of things, but wine is not one of them. My only explanation for purchasing a Wine Cube is that I was in kind of a desperate state of mind and it was on sale and the packaging was appealing.

So as I am ringing up my stuff, I break the silence (and I do mean silence, Target was closing and I was one of the last people in there) and start telling the cashier why I am buying a coffee maker.

Me: That coffee maker was only $7, can you believe that? My coffee maker broke and it only works sometimes. And it was not $7, it was like $100, it was a Christmas present from my husband a few years ago. I have two kids and our fancy $100 coffee maker decided not to work this morning and it ruined my whole day.

Her: Oh yeah, girl, you need that caffeine. (Awkward smile)

She rings up the four-pack of bottled Starbucks.

Me: Oh... and that is for backup! Ha ha! Just in case this new coffeemaker doesn't work either! Boy wouldn't that be a hoot!

Her: Yeah, now you'll never run out of coffee again. (Awkward smile)

Me: No, it wasn't the coffee that ran out... it was uh, the coffeemaker that uh... (I watch her as she struggles to put the $7 coffeemaker into a bag)... it's okay! You don't need to bag that. I can just carry it.


I put the coffeemaker in the cart.

Her: Thanks, yeah, that wasn't fitting at all.

She continues to ring up my stuff.

Me: So yeah, it was the coffeemaker that broke. And it makes me mad because my kids are really young and wake up really early, especially now with Daylight Savings Time. I mean, I can't even get up and go to the bathroom without drinking a cup of coffee first--

And as I am talking, no BLABBING on, I walk over to the very far end of the conveyor belt and pick up the cube of wine and carry it over to my cart and put it in.

Her: WHAT are you DOING? I did not ring that up yet!

And then she gives me a look. This look says, "I know why you were just having that ridiculous distracting conversation with me now-- it was so you could STEAL THE WINE."

I am telling you:
I am 100% sure she thought I was trying to steal the wine.
I was not trying to steal it.
It was in a red box, just like the coffeemaker I had just carried to my cart.
My brain was on auto pilot.

But cashier-lady had already pegged me as a crazy because of the rambling on about coffee, so stealing wine was obviously not a reach.

We were silent as I paid.

And then I looked at her and said, "I cannot believe I did that. I think I thought it was my bag or something. I usually carry a big bag when I have my kids with me... I feel so stupid."

And she totally didn't buy it.

Maybe I'll just quit that particular Target store for awhile. I do have three others to fall back on.

17 comments:

  1. oh my goodness erin. that's funny.

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  2. You made my day, Erin. This is really funny.

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  3. haha...

    coffee and wine, with a little adult(ish) conversation...PRICELESS (even if you DID try to steal the wine)

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  4. Deviant wine thief!

    That is so funny.

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  5. This is too funny! Your picture is probably up in the Target breakroom.

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  6. Oh my! Erin, you crack me up, you wine thief, you!

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  7. Oh please, like you'd try to steal a cheap thing of whine. Some people are so silly. If she actually thought that. I have Mommy brain too, so I can totally relate.

    Nell

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  8. This was sooo funny. I am sure it was embarrassing too... Bout we are all enjoying it :)

    Also, One of my fondest memories involved a cube of Target wine :)

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  9. Haha Sounds like something I would do.

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  10. Sounds like something I would do. I can picture it now.

    Jamie

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  11. Oh no but these things happen.

    A few weeks back left a clothes shop
    and the alarms went crazy , my youngest daughter had grabbed an outfit and was sitting in her pram with it. Thankfully they believe me that i was not trying to shoplift

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  12. I ramble on to cashiers too but I have never been one to try and steal wine. lol How funny! I can also relate to shopping in a brain cloud due to young ones. I say thank heavens for coffee and a Starbucks in MY local Target.

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  13. so funny and totally something I would have done! I have walked out with something tucked under my arm and the cashier didn't even notice until I came back. Tired does not even begin to describe what having children is like. It gets easier though. Just before you go completely crazy

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  14. That's hilarious. I have to have coffee. It's must. I understand.

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