7.12.2009

a little saturday sample

I have blogged this before, but no one read my blog way back then. For some reason I started thinking about Tortongo today and thought I should post this again.

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A small sample of my husband's high school creative writing assignments. He wrote them his junior year. This was the year we started dating. He was 17. And I thought he was a hoot.

They never ever get old.

Essay 43
Are glasses better than contacts? Looking at my fellow students I began to ask myself this question. I came up with this answer. I believe glasses are better than contacts. Assume for one moment that the earth loses its gravity. Contacts are too light; glasses would help to weigh you down. This means glasses are better because they help to save your life.

Essay 3
Ice cream
All I want is white
vanilla white ice cream
cone cone cone
woo hoo!!!
I WANT SPRINKLES TOO!!!!

This song is really about crack.
REPLACE ICE CREAM WITH CRACK
HA HA. CONE = PIPE

Essay 56
Someone should write a story where one of the main characters is in fact a bat. Think about this. When was the last time you read a book with a bat in it. It's been a long long time hasn't it? I think there was a Hardy Boys book about some vampire bats, but that doesn't really count. My bat's name will be something devastatingly cool... like Tortongo the Batty Bat! Tortongo. That is such a beautiful name. That is definitely what my son's name will be. Maybe not, then all the kids at his school would make fun of him. They would say, Ha! Ha! Look at Tortongo! He has the same name as the bat in his Father's book!

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By the way, he did not actually have anything to do with crack or drugs or anything like that. He was a National Merit Semi-Finalist. He just liked making his teachers uncomfortable.

16 comments:

  1. That last one reads like black hockey jesus.

    You need a torongo shirt.

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  2. brent's always (not always...you know what i mean) talking about his crack v. cocaine debate in high school. love those high school boys.

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  3. oh, i must have a son... that i will secretly name tortongo.

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  4. What a riot! Where is the guest post from Luke? I am sure it would be great!

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  5. As a teacher, I would give essay 43 an A+++++

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  6. Haha! You two were totally made for each other. "A Hoot" would describe both of you.

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  7. I think your husband and I would have been good friends in high school.

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  8. so funny. I think you are both such funny people. just imagine the the kind of funny that's going to come out of Tortongo and Sally someday. :)

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  9. He is beyond brilliant!!! Has he NOT written a book. Of poems perhaps?

    I want a guest post from him too :)

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  10. i loved this post! I feel cool cause I was reading your blog way back then:)

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