10.07.2009

click click click

I just spent a half an hour frantically changing my blog header because I feel like my blog is holding me back. This will probably sound dumb and made-up, but I swear I just can't type on this thing anymore because everytime I open the page I think about how I wrote all that stuff about my grandpa. It's like an automatic response now. I pull up the page and feel heavy and annoyed at myself and want to do something else. I thought if I made things look different, then maybe I could feel different.

Okay. I will now try to feel different.

Ahem.

Things at my house have been really clicking lately. Like, really really clicking. No TV! Imaginary play! Craft time! Dinner cooked! Clean house! It's magical. A lot of it has to do with Luke and his newly found habit of helping me with the dishes. I have no idea how I tricked him into thinking it was his responsibility to do the dishes every night but I did, or maybe it wasn't me at all; maybe it was him or God or maybe there is mind control from the advertising industry involved, I'm really not sure. And I don't care. My sink doesn't have dishes in it, and that's a win.

I know the really really clicking phase never lasts very long, so I am trying to soak it all up before someone inevitably breaks their arm.

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I hate that I hesitate when I want to say how great and joyful I feel.
I hate that misery loves company, but saying you're happy and blessed and actually really love being a mom and your life isn't falling apart makes you boring.
It isn't funny or interesting.
I don't think I say it enough.
I love being a mom. My life isn't falling apart.
I do my fair share of bitching and laughing about the ridiculous aspects of parenting, but I want to be very very clear in case this was lost in the midst of all of that: I love my life. I love my family. I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I would say it every day if I didn't think you all would get tired of hearing it.

13 comments:

  1. Say it every day! We love to hear it! That's what friends are for, right? To see you through the bad times AND the good? Even if the relationship is only virtual. And sure as heck don't let fear of what might come prevent you from loving what IS. Celebrate today, and we'll all toast to living the life out of every moment.

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  2. Say it, in fact; go ahead and preach it! It is good to be a mom.

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  3. "I hate that misery loves company, but saying you're happy and blessed and actually really love being a mom and your life isn't falling apart makes you boring."

    AMEN! I hate that too. I often feel like people think of my blog posts "oh no, not again. some happy, sappy post." But that is usually who I am, so that is obviously what I'll write about.

    I'm real, of course, as you are. We have bad days, or pain, or sorrow, and we blog about it... but dag dammit, when we're happy we should blog it and not feel like it's boring and what not.

    Sorry this blog makes you feel sorrow. I can understand why. Your Grandpa was a very special man. I can see that from your blog posts and your love for him.

    Hugs and love to you.

    Nell

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  4. yayy!! i love reading posts like that!
    so often my blog is about my frustrations (and mistakes) in parenting - so its great when i'm reminded how much i love being a mom. and why its all worth it!

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  5. Go ahead and say it as often as you want! To love being a mom is a wonderful thing- my mom loved being a mom, even though I'm sure my sister and I drove her crazy sometimes, but I remember our friends preferring to hang out at our house because my parents were so nice and my mom was fun! This is from high-schoolers! (And my parents were not the terrible parent examples who let their kids walk all over them or break the law or anything- I think it was that we, as a family, just genuinely liked each other.)

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  6. I've never posted on your blog before, but I read almost every new post. Please share how happy you are! It makes it more ok for me to share my own joy with people. :) I think our culture has become addicted to depression and stress, like if we're happy then we're not trying hard enough, or we're settling for something. But we should spread our joy when we feel it! Happiness is contagious too!

    "Whoever is happy will make others happy too." -- Anne Frank

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  7. keep saying it! there are not enough moms that tell the JOY of motherhood. the JOY of actually enjoying their husbands. the JOY that can come with staying home.

    i've gotten just a couple comments that my blog isn't "real life".....so annoying. this IS my life. i choose to be optimistic and enjoy it. and though i'll tell about the "bad" days every now and then, it is MY blog and i want to remember the beautiful days the most.

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  8. I have a horrible habit of wallowing, and when other people say they are happy and grateful, it reminds me that I am, too. So thank you.

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  9. I think your love of life and family always shines through. And, isn't it crazy how one seemingly small thing (like the dishes) can free you up for a whole world of fun?! Yay to Luke for stepping up to the plate!!

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  10. I think it's wonderful to hear how things are clicking! I waver back and forth between posting the really bad and the really happy because when it's really bad, I need to vent. And when it's really happy, I want to share.
    I hope it keeps on clicking.

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  11. Funny, I just wrote about not sharing enough about the crappy stuff in life. I love what you write. And I think you write lots of happy things too. I mean, we all know how much you adore your beautiful kids and how you love to sing songs to your husband in dancing shoes and how you trick him into washing the dishes. Those are very happy things :)

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  12. I love what you write - joy is never boring.

    And I'm with you, Sister. Being a mom is the greatest, craziest, funniest, messiest, sweetest, gig ever. I marvel at my good fortune everyday.

    (I love that when you click on your profile photo it links to that perfect movie clip. More joy!)

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  13. It's not boring! It's inspiring and it's really beautiful to see happening.

    I am not saying you need to change your blog title or anything like that, but I love that your Twitter name is swonderful.

    Steph

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