I fell off my treadmill on Saturday morning. No, actually, I fell on my treadmill and the treadmill kept going. I was stuck between the moving part (the milling tread I guess you'd call it) and the bookshelf behind it and couldn't throw myself off for a good 10 seconds as it moved along at 6 miles per hour, rubbing the skin off of my knees, arm, and back.
We have laughed a lot over how ridiculous this incident was and I feel completely stupid. The whole thing seemed like a scene from a movie, complete with the bookshelf breaking and me screaming and tumbling around. It really is a certain kind of funny. You know what certain kind I mean. The not-actually-funny-at-all-live-action-Disney-movie-guy-gets-hit-in-his-testicles-by-a-large-branch kind of funny. In fact, it turns out that treadmill humor is kind of a thing on the internet.* If you google "treadmill fall" you will be presented with many pages of "fat girl falls on treadmill OMGLOLZ" videos that were presumably created to entertain someone. (Not that I googled "treadmill fall" after falling on the treadmill like an idiot or I have an obsession with googling stuff or anything like that.)
On the other hand, it is actually not all that funny because I am in a lot of pain and it was quite frightening and it could have been much much worse. On page 8 of the "treadmill fall" google search results (so after the fat girl videos) I found a story about a teenager passing out on a treadmill and having so much skin rubbed off that she needed skin grafts and was disfigured.
Treadmills are dangerous.
I am so grateful that I made this realization after an accident involving myself and not one of my children. I am so grateful that I have been reminded to always take the safety precautions I don't always think I need to take. I am grateful for my newly heightened awareness. I am also going to have some seriously hardcore scars which is kind of cool, right?
Be careful friends. Accidents happen. Buckle up. Look both ways. Use the treadmill key.
This is my back. This really gross wound runs from the bottom of my bra to the top of my pants. (Yes this is an intentionally small and blurry image. You're welcome.) Both knees and one of my arms have them too.
*I realize this is true of almost everything.