I was going to write a post about thankfulness.
I was going to write a post about how I got to the place I am in.
A happy Thanksgiving kind of post explaining why I love every second of what I am doing and why it all kind of feels like a surreal gift (are you rolling your eyes yet?) and why I go out of my way all the time to explain that even though I have been through a bunch of weird crap lately I AM THANKFUL for my life.
I swear I don't say these peppy optimistic things to be annoying and I don't say them because I feel like I have to say them.
I say them because I mean them.
I say them because there is a lot of joy in my house and in my heart.
I say them because I am thankful for what I have. Constantly.
I may only be 26, but I've been through stuff. The bad kind of stuff. The kind of stuff that steals your joy away from you. Even though my beloved Papa passed away and I had a miscarriage and I hurt myself all over on a dumb treadmill fall (that I am still healing from if you can believe it) all in the last three months, my joy has not been stolen. I am not depressed.
I have real, tangible things to be sad about, yes, but they are the kind of things you grieve over and you weave into your story. You cry sometimes out of nowhere and you squint really hard trying to understand and accept the realities of life. I am dealing with that. I am definitely squinting. I am not dealing with the heavy kind of stuff that threatens to break your spirit and steal your joy. I am dealing with life. I am so thankful that I get to deal with life.
So I was going to write a post about that stuff.
Then I started singing this song and I couldn't stop. I felt better about a lot of things. I sang it all night, for hours, until everyone went to sleep and my house got so quiet that my whisper-singing even seemed too loud and I stopped singing and started typing this post.
I decided not to get too ridiculously long winded in my explanation of the rainbows and bunnies I sprinkle into everything and instead just tell you to sing this song.
You will feel better too.
(Sometimes I think I missed my calling in life and should be getting paid to sit around singing songs for fun. Those jobs are pretty easy to find right? Singing a fun-to-sing song feels like a good dream and a good beer and being a kid and an old person all at the same time.)