if i have to get fired, i'd rather it be from blogging than from my other job

If I read one more blog post where a blogger I like suddenly interrupts regular programming to tell other bloggers they need to blog every day and interact in a certain way or spend exactly 41% of your online time on twitter blah blah blah OR ELSE YOU WILL BE FIRED FROM BLOGGING OR UNSUBSCRIBED FROM IN DROVES OR SOMETHING I will pull all of my hair out. I get that you are trying to be helpful, but it isn't helpful to me.  It just stresses me out. 

I am really really glad that many others seem to be able to write every single day because I love reading what you all have to say.  I do.  I read your posts on my iPod while I'm doing other things and I love them and laugh and smile and wish I had time to comment on them all.

I especially love my readers and wish I could leave you all super special comments that make you feel like you just got the biggest hug ever, every day.  I REALLY wish it.  I feel guilty that I am not able to do it.  Not being able to do that all the time (or even more than once in a blue moon) is the thing I like the least about blogging. My readers and the comments you leave me?  You matter to me.  You make this worth doing. I want to make sure you know that.

(Example: I just spent a great deal of time thinking about Chocolate Girl and how she is running the mini-marathon in my town this weekend and how I hope she has a great experience but will probably not ever get to leave her a comment indicating that I am even aware of this information because instead I have to vacuum up the broken bath bomb Clark crumbled all over his room and the living room and my bed.)

My kids are three years old and 20 months old and soon I will have THREE kids ages three and under.    Most mornings when I wake up, I pray and ask God to give me the energy to get everything necessary done.  It's a blissful job, but it takes every second of my time and every ounce of my energy.  (And a lot of prayers asking for said energy. Also, coffee.) I generally do not use the computer during the day. I just broke this rule and wrote the first half of this post while my kids took a bath.  It ended with four clean towels soaking in the bathtub and water splashed all over my laptop. I am sure there are others that are able to balance a clean house and hot meals and writing and commenting every day, but I can't right now.  My kids are too little.  My house is too small.  My belly is too big.

You will not see me rant very often because it is generally not my style and besides I like you all and don't want to piss you off, but please stop telling me how to blog or at least reconsider how you are wording your advice.  It makes me (and I'm sure many of your readers) feel like huge jerks.  If you only want to subscribe to bloggers who post every single day,then go ahead and unsubscribe from me right this second. THIS is how I blog. It's for the best.  Trust me.

And you?  You can blog HOWEVER YOU WANT.  I am just glad you're doing it and I get to read what you have to say.

Okay, now let's all hug it out.


The end.

Now I will get my naked kids dressed and wash and dry the four soaking wet towels and make lunch and clean up from lunch and vacuum up the bath bomb and hopefully find Clark's missing shoes and chase the kids into the car so we can go to the grocery store where I will be given weird looks and lots of "wow you have your hands full comments" and both kids will probably decide to poop on the potty at the grocery store, because you know.  I will get out of the store with a few groceries to get us through the weekend but will forget half of them and at least one thing purchased will be something different than what I thought it was when I put it in my cart.  Like toothpaste with weird mouthwash beads.  I may also discover I purchased something one of my kids put into the cart, like a $6 glitter ball. I will lift my 38 pound son and 30 pound daughter back into their carseats and get more comments about how I have my hands full from strangers who are watching.  I will buckle the kids in and Clark will be mad about something and Alice will fall asleep. I'll try to do the elusive car-to-bed transfer but we all know that never works and instead she will just be grouchy for the rest of the day. I will put the groceries away and make dinner and then it will be the weekend, I suppose.  TGIF or something.  And they and this life are so so worth it.  And I know all of you with kids know exactly what I mean.




  1. First of all, your kids are amazingly adorable, and I cannot wait to have kids of my own. Secondly, thank goodness you have your own blog where you can blog about what you want and when you want. I can't stand when people are super stressed about blogging daily...isn't is supposed to be fun?

  2. I finished writing today's post with Ivy & Gray in the bath, too!

    The best thing about being a blogger, for me, is that this is your space, your rules. No one wants to read a blog that feels forced. Post when you can, that's you. That's what keeps us coming back. No pressure! My favorite bloggers (big & "small") are the ones who act like they don't care about Twitter and promoting their blog, having subscribers, etc.

    I understand what you are saying, though, definitely can relate (you might want to avoid attending blog conferences).

    The people you want to read your blog will stick around to see how your story unfolds. Good riddance to those that unsubscribe or unfollow!

    Big hugs!


  3. shooooooooooot are people really saying that? Seriously?
    My blogging is extremely unpredictable. One day I might post 3 entries. And sometimes I go weeks without posting. Because you know what? My blogging is usually in direct relation to how I'm feeling. And that's the whole point. I always said that the blog was for ME whether I have no readers or a million. Right now I average 5. And that's okay with me. I actually kinda prefer the smaller audience...it keeps things more personal really.

    & yea..your day sounds just like mine yesterday when I braved the store with all three kids. Just wait til that third one comes out...

  4. love this post and feel the exact same way. I don't know how some bloggers do it (but I guess I don't really care either)!

  5. I adore how you blog. It definitely bugs me when people start telling other people how they should do anything. I turn all teen-angsty and YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME and that's not really productive, of course, but MAN. Don't tell people what to do, other people!

    So, yes. Adore you. Adore your photographs. Adore your blog.

  6. I love this post too.

    And seriously? People are so judgmental. Blogging is fun. You should write for yourself and have FUN. Write what you want to write, not what will make you famous or money. Otherwise if you do write what will make you money it will become dull and painful to write so quickly and you can get burnt out.

  7. my life is VERY MUCH your life. maybe a lot of our lives are. i read VERY few blogs because of the reasons you listed. i feel the same about my readers and commenters. i wish i could make them know how much i appreciate them, but in the end, it really is just my journal. my way of remembering. with our journey to clayton it has become something that i didn't expect it to. i'm SO thankful for the people coming alongside to learn and ask questions and feel out the blessing of adoption, but basically all i can do is post when i can. i feel bad that i can't be in their lives like they feel they are in mine, but it is EXACTLY the title of your post.
    annnnnnd. thanks for letting me type that here. =)

    i adore you and i read as much as i can because of that. whether you blog once a week or once a month. =)

  8. oh--and i meant to say that i VERY recently washed and dried a whole load of soaking wet towels for the exact same reason. i also forgot them in the wash so i had to re-wash them. and basically just want to buy new ones now because i'm sure when they get damp again i'll puke from the slightly musty smell.

    ANYWAY...i'm chatting today, huh? geez.

    adore you. don't forget your towel in the wash. bye.

  9. You? I adore.

    Everyone else can do whatever the eff they'd like. Me? I'm adoring you.


  10. i totally love this post. it's so good and so true and so real. and that's what i love about you! i kind of like bloggers that don't post all the time, because then i'm excited about what they have to post. ones that post daily ... well, i tend to skim.

    so keep on doing what YOU want to do, and i'll keep on reading. xoxo

  11. I completely agree with everything you've said, although I confess, I haven't seen many blogs ordering me to write everyday. I did the whole 'comment on everything I read' thing for awhile and it was exhausting. And I honestly don't think just writing "I'm sorry" or "yay for you" adds anything to the conversation - I will comment if I have something to say otherwise, I'm afraid all I have time for is lurking.

    And I know exactly where you are right now - a year ago I was you with a 2yo, 1yo and baby on the way. even now that all the kids are out I still get the "wow, you have your hands full" comments constantly. Annoying. Oh, and I totally buy things that weren't what I thought they were ALL the time! I read a label, but then apparently pick up an entirely different item because when I get it home it's always wrong. Weird.

    And we have lots of $6 glitter balls too.

    Love your blog (regardless of how often you write I will always read it), and your kids/house pics are always so wonderful!

  12. I read an amazing number of blogs. I am on my google reader nearly everyday to keep up (in my massive free time ha-ha) and there is no way I can comment on all of them. But I love reading them or I would not subscribe. If I feel myself get annoyed at how much one is posting - I figure that means I don't like reading it and I unsubscribe. If one posts multiple times a day and it doesn't bug me - then I must really like the blog. There are also a number of blogs I follow that post infrequently - it doesn't bother me. I still like them (and you!) or they wouldn't be on my reader at all.

    I don't have a blog, so I guess what I am trying to say is I think blogs should be what the people that write them want them to be. Everyone else can read or not depending on what they want from the blog but they shouldn't dictate to others.

    Since I read a ton of blogs I don't comment on all of them. I have a few I comment on almost everything they write, but I feel bad that I don't let everyone else know I am there. Instead of feeling guilty I try to click and comment if a post invokes a response in me (and try not to apologize if I don't remember if it's my first comment ever). Of course my two year old doesn't always allow that. :)

    Wow - sorry for the super long comment though!

  13. Oh and your kiddos are ADORABLE! :)

  14. Oh my, I had no idea there was that kind of pressure. I wonder what people think of my blog that is not even a blog but more of a website of photos of my family happenings - boring.

    If it make you feel better, lately the only way my floors are getting cleaned is with my socks, my new form of dusting is picking up actual dust balls in the hallway and throwing them in the trash, and Eli does not have on underwear today because there are not any clean. :)

  15. I love what you write. However often you write it (is that correct english? it sounds funny). Also, Clark kills me- I love the things he wears!
    love you friend! jil

  16. Erin,

    I have to say, your floors look immaculate! You should be proud.

    I'm glad you're not worried about people discontinuing their loyalty to you - if they do, they weren't truly loyal in the first place.

    I love your blog. As a mom of three (soon to be four), I totally get why I don't get to read a new post by you every single day. I also need to say, that for me, it's those bloggers that post only every other day or even less that I love the most. (Some blogs that do every day actually I continue to love, but for the most part, those that post one, two, three, four... posts a DAY... Yawn. I usually pass by most of their posts in a hurry, if I ever click on them at all.)

    For the record, I am bewildered as to why I have lost less than five readers since I told everybody that I was closing down my blog. I guess maybe people are hoping I'll jump back on the wagon after I'm done having baby number four or something???

    I have to admit, that, at first, when I started to lose people, I was sad because I loved reading comments from readers - many of whom I began to feel were more like friends. But when I looked through, everybody that I had a friendly feeling with was still there.


    Hugs to you. Post when you can. Keep your priorities straight. You are awesome.

    Love, Susan

  17. I failed to mention that I appreciate those bloggers that post less often because when they do actually post, their posts - at least usually - have substance. Not that regular posters never have substance in their posts, but I think you might know what I mean.

  18. I cannot tell you how much I love this post :) I read one yesterday that sounds like it might have been one you read... I rolled my eyes so far back into my head :)
    Its about doing what you want with your blog in the time you can.
    Lovely refreshing read :)

  19. Being new to your blog I can say that I enjoy the freshness of your writing...whether that's daily or weekly. I think we all find different blogs that suit our interests. Thanks for writing from the heart. That's my number one criteria for reading a blog--honesty.

  20. Go Erin! go Erin! go-go-go Go Erin! :)

    Really, though. You know I'm with you on this.

    And my hubby sat down next to me while I was reading and said "Wow. She's got a really clean house. Look at her floors!" LOL! His reaction alone tells you what my floors look like. LOL!!! (can you say 3 kids and a dirty dog?)

    love you. I do. xo elizabeth

  21. Honestly, I think too many bloggers take themselves far too seriously. My blog was always just a place for me to be me, to share me, to unload what I needed to... I never wanted it to turn into some serious business tool, so it didn't. And I loved it that way.

    In fact, the blogs I still read, though they are far fewer than in the past, are all real and casual {like yours} and I like them like that!

  22. I have ONE kid, and can barely manage to make ends meet, let alone put together a blog that actually makes sense by the end of the day when I'm so exhausted and all I want to do is crawl in bed but I still have several hours of putting the pieces of my house back together so it looks halfway livable, only to get up the next morning and do it all over again. Did that comment even make sense? I doubt it, which is why I'm REALLY not good at this whole blogging thing. You are awesome and I love reading your blog and TOTALLY GET IT that you don't blog every day. I even wonder how you find the time to blog as often as you do. Anyway. Great post :)

  23. happy mothers day! may it not involve quite so many wet towels

  24. Just ignore those. Your blog is fabulous. It's yours and it's authentic which is what makes it so wonderful to read. I'd still subscribe no matter how little or much you posted.
    Personally, I post when I can and when I feel like it. It would be fun to post daily but not entirely practical. Life gets in the way, and for that I am exceptionally grateful.

  25. Love this. Isn't it funny how you can feel such stupid pressure in the blogging world. I'm glad that you said something though. Sometimes I get in kicks and post more frequently (only because I set it up to post on a certain day-ha), and then times I am gone for over a week. That is life.

    Enjoy your life. I know you are. This post was actually quite funny. :)

  26. There are blogger police?
    Erin, I read your blog because you are honest about what you do and how you feel. You share the good times and the heartache. I love you for that.
    How often you blog is irrelevant. The content is what matters.
    Your content reflects who you are.
    God bless you for putting family first. That is how life should be handled.

  27. I adore your blog and although I may not comment as much as I should, I enjoy reading your posts and your style of blogging.

    I'll never understand this "pressure" that is being placed on bloggers. There are no rules!

    So glad to see you have your priorities straight. Hugs to you and Happy Mama's Day!

  28. By the way, your house always looks like SO MUCH FUN. Dollhouse? Life jacket inside? FUN!!!

  29. Hi Erin! I think I may have been the blogger you wrote about. ;)

    If so, I'm truly sorry that my post came across as "you-have-to-blog-this-way-or-else-I-don't-like-you-and-your-blog." That's definitely not what I meant (especially not about your blog, by the way - I LOVE it).

    My post was more about keeping my personal RSS feed manageable.

    Also: I get a lot of questions about how to grow an audience and I think that is a fair question. I really want to support moms that are trying to make money through their blogging/writing.

    When I attended BlogHer in '08 (I haven't been to any blogging conferences since then, by the way...), I was a little dismayed that there was such a huge emphasis on "If-you're-trying-to-make-$-then-you're-a-sell-out." I completely disagree with that. Blogging is writing and good writing can often lead to good money. In many ways, bloggers are authors and, like it or not, all successful authors market themselves.

    Does that mean that all bloggers need to follow a certain "system" to "succeed"? Certainly not! But, at the same time, I think it's nice for bloggers to share advice and ideas along their journeys.

    Phew - that was a long comment. Can we hug now and "make up"? ;)

    P.S. I amended my post just now as a result of this post and took out the part about posting daily. :)


  30. Reminds me of the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins. My oldest son just turned 13, and I really miss cuddling with him in the chair. He's too big now ;-)

    And blog as much or as little as you want. These people aren't paying you to blog. This is for you. We just get to enjoy it.

  31. Oh, I needed that. I just wrote an "I'm sorry I haven't been blogging post" and, quite frankly, I'm tired of the self-inflicted guilt.