9.30.2010

uh huh, okay

So sometimes people say, "you make it look so easy!"  to me and I just smile.

I am going to tell you a story about today that might make you like me less, but right in this moment I don't care.  Because it is a true story.  It isn't embellished in any way and there is no hyperbole, it just is what it is and what it is is the most embarrassing series of events I can remember, even more embarrassing than the time when I was 13 and I was distracted and talking to a friend after a Cross Country race and started to change my clothes outside, in a field full of people, thinking I was in a locker room.

Are you ready?

I think I have a problem, sometimes, with pushing myself to go get stuff done even when it isn't the best idea.

Today I took the kids to Target with me because we needed peanut butter and bread and also so I could see if this particular store had any of the bent plywood dining chairs in stock.  We need to fit six tiny chairs in our tiny dining room and these were tiny and on clearance at another store for so cheap it would be silly NOT to buy them, but they were out of stock at that location.  Wouldn't you know that at this store they had exactly six left?  And I could get all six of them for less than $40 total?  I had an employee load them all huge and crazy on a second cart.  I also grabbed some groceries and a few other things (hello, it's Target, of course I did) and then suddenly I could tell my kids had had it.  They were just d-o-n-e.  Clark started doing his shriek.  His "I am tired and loud and three years old and I don't have any self control" shriek.

We got to the check-out and the kids were getting louder and louder and when I went to pay and ran my debit card through -- rejected.  "I'll run it as credit," I told the cashier.  Again -- rejected.  Deep breath. I knew immediately that if my debit card didn't work that it meant Luke had been too busy to deposit his check from last week.  Last week!  You know, our income?  What I use to buy groceries?  The bill was somewhere around $60 and I was standing there like an idiot as the line backed up.  I searched my wallet for another way to pay but had nothing but frequent customer cards and old receipts.  While I was distracted with the wallet searching, Clark climbed himself out of the cart all clumsy and noisy and scary like, and bolted towards the little end aisle full of trading cards.  I called Luke who confirmed that he had not deposited his check.  He was busy.  He had to go.  He apologized and hung up.  I chased after Clark.  I tried to distract him and it didn't work.  Then I tried to whisper-inform him that he needed to loosen his grip on the stuff we didn't own because we were leaving.  He asked me why and I decided to be honest and whisper-explain that mommy didn't have her money with her to buy anything and he LOST.  IT.  Lost it.

Clark is smart and emotional and persistent and he has a huge sweet heart but is also easily frustrated and often defiant.  He can have a fit the size of Nevada and a few seconds later start calmly talking about something that happened last week.  He has a temper.  He has no self-control.  He also tells me he loves me and gives me big hugs and apologizes later.  He is unpredictable.  And he is three.  I am at my wit's end with him sometimes.  He has embarrassed me so many times and I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I do not want your advice.  I know that from the outside looking in you may think what you do with your kid would totally help with my kid but I don't think kids actually work like that.  He isn't textbook anything and I promise that I will never ever give you advice on how to do things with your kid because our kids are just small people and it turns out that people are all different from each other.

Also I have already tried everything.

Whatever.

So I carried my 40 pound, off-the-charts tall, screaming, thrashing three year old away from the trading card aisle and back towards the cart that contained Alice, Alice who is two, Alice who was attempting to leap from the cart and towards the super cute Sanrio 50th Anniversary tote bag I was going to use the rest of her birthday money to purchase.  "MINE BAG!  MINE BAAAG!" she screamed.  Girl loves bags.  And Hello Kitty.  And birthday presents.

There were probably 30 people staring at us.  I don't blame them.  We were very loud and ridiculous.   I was wearing a newborn baby and pushing a crying toddler and carrying a tantruming preschooler.  Ridiculous.

We got just past the check-out area and I stood Clark up on his feet and told him he needed to walk but instead he got down on the floor and thrashed and pushed and SCREAMED.

And then?

I tripped on him.  And fell over.  Onto the floor.  With the baby.  While the people watched.

I was there on the dirty floor, next to Clark and I thought, wow, I truly do not ever remember being this embarrassed, ever, in my whole entire life.

I was saying bad words in my head.  When we got back to the car I called my mom and cried hot blushing tears and then when we got home I drank two beers as fast as I could. 

Deep breath.

I guess the truth is that I do kind of try to make it look easy.  I don't do it so you all (readers, friends, citizens of the world) will think it is easy for me, I do it so I will think it is easy for me.

-

-

And obviously I know better.  I know that the day to day stuff can suck. But making the decision to do it every day, to do the day to day stuff again and again and again, to keep pushing and trying to learn the kids and my husband and myself and this life a little better?


-
-

They do make that part easy.

-

-

69 comments:

  1. Oh gosh mama! I think you deserve about a million hugs today!!

    Sometimes I don't know how to deal with one screaming child, let alone two ++ baby!

    You're amazing and inspiring and you're doing it all so well <3

    LOTS of love!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Lady. I am glad you didn't get hurt but Jeez what a day.

    Hugging you (all 4 of you) from here.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh lady.

    I hope all of this is super funny to you like, next year.

    Been there without the falling. WHY is it always at Target?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh thank you. It sounds terrible, but I get so encouraged to know other beautiful, intelligent, "together" mommies have times like these. I know these things of which you speak. I have a 5 yo, 2 yo, and 6 month old. We have much in common and you are now my friend because of this instance. Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh my goodness. that is more parenting horror than anyone should suffer at once!

    i love this:
    "He isn't textbook anything and I promise that I will never ever give you advice on how to do things because our kids are just small people and it turns out that people are all different from each other.

    Also I have already tried everything."

    sometime people just need to shut up.

    may you have a restful, beatiful, tantrum-free tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I just want to hug you. Holy cow!!! What a day.
    I love what you said about kids being little people and all very different. You have a way with words, lady...and photographs.

    I read this today and loved it. I think you'd like it too...
    http://misadventuresofkellyandkelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/just-what-i-needed-to-read/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh lady. I'm so sorry about your spill... and I'm sorry you had a really bad day... this job really sucks rocks sometimes. You handled it waaaay better than I ever would. For one, I wouldn't have kept the bad words inside my head... sending you love and hugs xoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my heck!! I have to admit, I laughed, but probably not at the part you think I laughed at. :) I loved that you said you didn't want our advice! I laughed, okay so I giggled, but I love it!

    Glad no one was hurt. {HUGS}

    ReplyDelete
  9. isn't that funny. how we often try to give advice all the while knowing that it probably won't help anyways. but ... i think we still give it because we don't want others to have to go through what we have been through. and we think that maybe if we can save one other mama from falling down in target with screaming children whilst carrying a baby that maybe just maybe we helped.
    right?

    hugs. that pretty much is a sucky-ful day. i've had those too.
    you (unfortunately) aren't alone - and that sometimes helps just enough.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you all so much, I am still recovering.

    And Madeline, thank you for linking that I DID love it and nodded along through the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my God Erin I laughed LAUGHED when you said you tripped. I am SO SORRY. I want to cry for you. I would cry, too. But oh my gosh I HAVE SO BEEN THERE. Like, you are my people. I understand.

    And I love you for that.

    Steph

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh my goodness... What a day. I definitely have been there. I have to admit I got a little bit tearful over Alice as I can imagine my Alice doing the exact same thing. Hope the rest of your week gets better and you guys have a wonderful weekend. BTW, I really enjoy reading your blog...so well written.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh, man. I had this happen at our local grocery store. They were so freaking sweet to me. The actually let me take $50+ worth of groceries home, just taped my receipt in a composition book with my name & phone number on it. I was embarrassed, but oh so thankful that they knew me there and trusted me. It was our groceries for the week and the paycheck went into an account I didn't have a card for and I don't know what I would have done if not for that cashier.

    Also, my husband thinks that keeping my 5yo and 3yo in our double stroller while I run errands is just me being weak or lazy but hello! it's the only reason we can get anything done. We are living car-free (by choice) and he wants me to drag grumpy kids and groceries home on the bus? How about sleepy kids? No. Don't think so.

    Anyway, I don't have any advise (well, shop local?) but sure appreciate you sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ugh, I can't believe I didn't catch that advise/advice error when I proofread. Dork. Sorry. I feel like I've sullied your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm so, so sorry! What a day! I think I would have laid in the floor and cried. Totally boohoo moment. The fact that you kept it together until you got in the car? Obviously, you're a superhero.

    God, I do NOT miss running paychecks to the bank. NO. There was even a point where my husband got paid via a check card, so I would have to go to the proper ATM and then could only get out so much cash to put straight into our bank account. It was stupid. Thank goodness for sweet direct deposit!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have the same problem with trying to do things (ESPECIALLY shopping) when it probably is NOT the best time.

    If I had been in Target I would not have stared, I would have helped you because I've been a very similar situation.

    I glad you got to cry it out and have some beers and I'm glad you let out to us here too.

    For REALS. xo

    p.s. you're so stikin' pretty! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, Erin...

    I want to hang out with you.

    I have a secret to share with you. Not advice in any way. I will tell you right off it doesn't work. Well, it very rarely works. VERY RARELY. As in, when it works, I faint.

    It has been at least a year now that every time I take my children into ANY store (though quite regularly it is Target - hey, you can get just about EVERYTHING from Target now), I have "the talk" with them. I look each of my boys in the eyes (my eldest is now TEN and his brother is four) and tell them very firmly but lovingly how they are expected to behave in this store and what will happen to them if they stray from "the way" in any way. I tell them that if I hear one bit of shrieking or teasing or begging or yelling, or if they wander away from the family, that there, essentially, will be hell to pay. And so on, and so forth. Of course, in the car they nod their heads and look lovingly at me and assure me that all will be well, and then we walk into Target (or VONS or wherever) and things go well for about 5 or so minutes... I think the talks with them mostly only make ME feel like things are going to be better. I don't know. But after those five minutes... My face is scrunching up, my eyes grow wide with embarrassment or fury or I don't even know what, my smile is gone, my body is tense... I'm hearing the shrieking, the teasing, the begging...

    And then comes my reprimanding of them in public. Lord, please have mercy on my soul. I cannot think of a time in the past year that I have not had to reprimand - in a very controlled way - my boys, or force my daughter to stay put in her seat, or or or...

    I'm sure people just LOVE noting that I am a giant pregnant woman about to pop out another kid, who "obviously" can't control her present three. I'm sure they are thinking, "Ummm... Why in the .... is this woman having another child???" Sure, there are some moms who look at me with sympathy. But all of those single people walking around... UG.

    Anyway. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in trying but often falling short. Not because of lack of trying, but just because life just goes that way. Patience is a virtue I am ever trying to gain.

    I hope you can still get those chairs. To me, that was the biggest bummer about your story. I've so been there :(

    Love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh girl. Like maria, like steph -- yes it's always at Target and YES YOU ARE MY PEOPLE. xoxoxo

    I can't believe you fell and I'm sorry I'm laughing. But oh I have been there, and yes they're all different but boy-oh-boy does your Clark sound like my Eli's kind of guy.

    Hang in there sister. And bravo for your honesty. I adore you.

    (fist bump)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my! Thank you for being so honest - no one has it together, I don't think, but not many people will come out and say it! You go girl :)
    By the way, your kids are adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so sorry this happened to you but I am so glad I read about it! Thank you for your honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  21. oh erin ... I am glad you are okay. and that you are honest enough to blog this story. I will be honest ... I am one of the ones who thinks you have it all together while I can't seem to be able to grab a shower for days. not that i'm glad that any of this happened to you!

    and for the record ... my husband would probably respond the exact same way.

    and why do kids always start freaking out when we're stressed? well, I guess I answered my own question. dont worry ... I will never give you advice on clark because I have a similar child that I don't know what to do with most days. the words, "maybe we should take her to a child therapist" actually came out of my mouth last night after fighting with her for hours over staying in her room at bedtime.

    I love your description of clark ... reminds me so much of my emma ... it's a good thing they can love so fiercely. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh man what a day!! I hate hate hate days like that and I hope you have a much better day today. And also that maybe you are able to go back and get those chairs?? What a deal to miss!! :( Also - good for you for flat out stating you don't want advice on Clark! No one ever knows the full story from a blog anyway and you are right - little people are just that, little! And quite different from each other. Hope you have a day full of smiles today!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh, sweet Erin. I wish I could hug you.
    Once when Tommy was a tiny baby, we went out to an early dinner out. The waitress put us so that Luke was in a busy aisle and I KNEW it would agitate him but was too tired to say anything. Of course it did and of course he started screaming DAMMIT over and over at the top of his lungs, until I had to carry him out of the restaurant, past all the old people gaping, with my hand clapped over his mouth because he was still loudly swearing. Then Tommy started shrieking because he was starving and I letdown all over my shirt and wanted to die.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh Erin, I have been where you are. Really. I had three in car seats and diapers all at once.

    The person who coined the phrase "Terrible twos" had not dealt with a three year old yet.

    I think if a mom and a child can survive said child being three for a whole year then said mom deserves a giant trophy shaped like anything-she-darn-well-wants. Because three is the worst age in the history of human ages. Some days three year old people are just adorable, sweet, terrorists who we happen to love with our whole hearts.

    I'm glad everyone was okay.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank goodness there's a bit of grace with each new day :)

    Your Clark and my Fynn would get along really well. (and I'm so over people giving me advice on how to parent him. I'M his parent, YOU (not you, you, but you know) are not. End of story.

    Sending you some love :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Erin,

    I laughed out loud...again. You are a GREAT writer.

    About the kid thing: We have a difficult child (or two) and I HATE it when people give me advice because it implies that if I would just do something a little different, everything would click into place and the difficulties would disappear. Bull. Some kids are going to have it rough and their best asset is (in the VAST majority of cases) their parents.

    So...I don't know you, but I bet you're the best thing that every happened to your kids!

    (That wasn't advice now, was it?)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ok, did anyone help you? Or did a crowd of 30 midwesterners just sit and watch your pain?

    I remember being uber-pregnant, with two angry small children in a grocery cart at the store, and while "helping" by bagging my own groceries, I dropped a dozen eggs onto the floor. The checker handed me a towel and WATCHED while I cleaned the mess. I burned with embarrassment, but later I burned with anger...

    ReplyDelete
  28. erin, i smiled all the way through this post. your story is so sweet and tender and true and every mother can relate, i think. i could picture the scene unfolding but when i got to the part of you tripping, oh dear lord. really, did anyone offer you a hand or did you just have to wrangle yourself with strapped newborn off the floor of target all by yourself?!?!?!

    your honesty is SO APPRECIATED. and i like what you say about needing to make it seem easy for *you* and i totally get that. motherhood. nothing like it! it's the hardest thing ever and at the same time, it's amazing and easy in some ways and the best rewarding experience ever. and you are a superhero, with a newbie and a two year old and a three year old? girl. seriously, you are awesome. even on your hard days you are still so fricking awesome. so there.

    and ps. how 'bout those chairs? did you get them after all that???

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh dear! I would have probably said a few of those bad words out loud and then said "Well gang we're almost ready for the circus! But we'll have to work on that ending!" to my kids :) - sigh......some days seem to last about 89 hours!
    HUGS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, Erin. I wish I could've been there to pick you up and buy your Target purchase and then take you home and drink beer with you.
    Once when Tommy was a newborn, we went out to a very early dinner. The waitress seated us at the end of a very busy aisle, right near the waitress station. I knew sitting in a high chair with people walking past him constantly would agitate Luke, but I was too tired to say anything. Of course, it did and while waiting for our food, he started screaming DAMMIT over and over. No amount of threats, begging, or bribing would stop him, so finally, I carried him out of the restaurant with my hand clapped over his mouth because he was still shrieking swear words. The contingent of early bird old people just STARED at me on my long walk of shame, and I just knew they were looking at Shane and Tommy, still in the booth, Tommy screaming with hunger, thinking... I can't believe they have another. It was mortifying!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Love this admission of humanity - have definitely been there myself (and I agree, why is it always at Target?). Hope today is smoother. xox

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank you so much for sharing this! I can. Not. Imagine. But I will live this out, in my own moment, when I have children, just like every mom does at some point. The only difference is that thanks to you, when it happens to me this story (along with many other stories from other moms) will come to mind, and I will try to remind myself that it happens, that it is only a moment, and life goes on. Bravo, you are out on the other side of it--and now you have encouraged so many. :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. holy cow, what a day. at least you'll have the best crazy target stories at dinner parties now? hilariously written :) hope you have a great and fall free weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh, Erin. I hope today is....peaceful.

    As the mother of a volatile child, know that my heart is with you as you recover from yesterday. It takes a lot of recovering.

    A few weeks ago, at the height of first-grade adjustment/madness, Audra (6 1/2 year old, nearly as tall as I am, Audra) threw a kicking, screaming, lay on the floor, spitting, yelling tantrum at a crowded park. I am still recovering.

    Again, hope there is peace today.

    ReplyDelete
  35. i often feel like my life is the stuff sitcoms are made of. now i know i'm not the only one. i sincerely hope today is better and easier for you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't like you less. I like you more. Real is good. Even when it's hard and sometimes embarrassing.

    I hope today is extra lovely. To make up for the bumps of yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh sweetie! Many hugs to you and yours and thank goodness there was someone for you to call and beer to drink at home!

    PS I would have KILLED my husband if he forgot to deposit his paycheck. DEAD.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Your blushing made me blush. I totally can recall everytime that exactly that has happened (minus the tripping and for that you deserved 3 beers, not just 2.)

    We all try to make it look easy - because making it look hard would feel like we are failing. And you are not failing. It is hard. I think its just the convincing of oursevles that its easy adn the shock of when its not that causes more blushing.

    Take care of you and worry about silly people in Target not at all.

    ReplyDelete
  39. OH. Yes, when my completely unpredictable one was two, we had a Target dressing room meltdown that resulted in them calling security. Blushing hot tears, indeed. I still get a nasty feeling when I think of it. But your confession has come a long ways to purge the sting. I especially ESPECIALLY loved the 'I do it so I will think it's easy for me'. I hope you recover by next week. :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. When I'm walking through Target with my 6yo hiding in the aisles, my 4yo standing in the back of the cart, my 2yo trying to break the strap to the shopping cart seat & my 3-mo-old spitting up down my shirt in the Moby...I want to scream. But who screams in public? Then people say, "You've got your hands full" or "She needs to sit down, that's dangerous" or "You make that look so easy." I don't know whether to laugh at them or punch them. Of course we make it look easy. No one wants to see a momma throw a toddler tantrum in public. Those are saved for locked bathrooms and phone calls to our own moms.
    So sorry you had a bad trip (um...pun completely unintentional). Try again tomorrow though, right? :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. You poor lady:( I would have given you the money. Every time I see a mom with children out of control at Target, my first thought is "Poor mom" and at the same time everything the kid is doing is so normal, that people who are judging, have forgotten what it is to be a kid. I had a friend that would let her three year old son ride out a tantrum where ever he was having it. She would stand their with her arms folded and let him flop around like a fish. The funniest one was once in a parking lot at the mall. He had car oil stains on his back and shrieking the whole time. This was all because his mom said he could not sit in the stroller with his sister!
    Cut to now, he is 21, nice kid, soft spoken and a good egg.
    So when you say you have tried everything, I believe you!! I was fortunate to have two girls that were pretty good in the store, but I NEVER look at another mom in a judging way, if their babies are rambunctious. I also never make another parent feel badly if their little ones are acting up in a restaurant, buy turning around and giving that death stare!! People need to CHILL out when kids are involved and not give their two cents.
    I hope Alice got her little hello kitty purse, and you got your chairs :) Also glad you didn't get seriously injured.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Erin,
    I don't know why anyone would like you less for this post. Honestly. And if they did, then they weren't your friend anyway. You do the best you can, and you are a great mom! I'm so sorry you had a bad experience. Try not to beat yourself up.

    ReplyDelete
  43. holy-youknowwhat. I have a big lump in my throat right now. Not the "I've been there", but more like the "it could happen to me any day of the week" kind.

    Dude - being a mom is so tough, and hardly ever glamorous.

    And this just proves, we should just stay home and drink beers all afternoon. Wait.....probably not.

    We need to hang out more. With no trips to Target involved.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Oh goshers! I am so sorry....((HUGS)) to you and your littles.

    I think all us mamas have been there at one point or another...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Ah! Tripping was just the way to top it all off, eh? Ugh!!! Poor momma. I wish someone was there to help you. Or, to bring you a treat at home, while the kids napped.
    I hope you were still able to get the chairs later on?
    Btw, that last pic of you & baby is gorgeous. Super beautiful. Is this a bathroom in which you take your self-portraits. It's perfect with that cute little window & the tile color.
    ANYWAY. I hope you have having a cheerier day!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Well, it took almost 15 years, but the cross country embarrassing moment has finally been dethroned.

    I teared up when I got to the part about you falling--sweet goodness that must have been scary. and just a horrible final insult added to an already overwhelming situation. I'd just like to say that last week (Wesley being, 10 weeks old) was the first time i drove ANYWHERE without Casey, so...you're already leaps and bounds ahead in the "making it look easy" category. You can take it easy and let some of us newbies catch up ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  47. oh no. how awful. seriously.

    but you are beautiful and funny still.

    and your kids are too.

    and I hope you went back and got those chairs. (or made Luke)

    praying for you this week :)

    ReplyDelete
  48. I was just in bed trying to fall asleep and I was thinking of all of this that happened to you. and then I remembered my comment and wondered if it came out wrong. what I meant: it was awful that it happened to you. I didn't mean it was awful because of you. at all. I'm sorry it all happened.
    love you friend and hope you have an easy, relaxing weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I wish I could have been there to whip out a magic credit card or yell, "Hey look. That kid of yours is on the floor, don't trip over him" or throw a nasty look to all of those haters staring at you up in the Target line. I hope the beer did the trick and that you get your chairs and that Alice gets the Sanrio 50th Anniversary Tote Bag!

    PS. treestuff.com needs to get direct deposit (that was a joke)
    PPS. Everyone loves you now for sharing your story. (not that they didn't before). You are going to become a trendsetter and everyone on the world wide web will be confessing their most embarrassing stories. Except me. I'm too smart to fall for that.

    ReplyDelete
  50. oh no. what a bad day. I'm sorry. It's good you can pick yourself up and realize it's just another day

    ReplyDelete
  51. oh honey! HUGS! That is quite the tale.

    ReplyDelete
  52. oh, erin. i cry for you...WITH you. i get this. [obviously, a lot of us do.] i wish so much that we could tuck our [wonderfully-hard, beautifully-exhausting] children peacefully into bed and sit on the floor with glasses of wine and magazines and chat. or not chat. just sit. and know.

    ReplyDelete
  53. oh, honey. what a mess. you're so strong. & fantastic. [& gorgeous, as a side note.] &, girl. your open honesty is so humbling.

    [also, not that it helps in the heat of the moment, but it might be worth keeping in the back of your mind. i was SO my mom's one i-have-no-idea-what-to-do-with-her-i-have-tried-everything child. she actually thought that i might be demon-possessed at one point. for real.

    the moral? we outgrow it someday. then we wish we could go back & learn to let go of control & just let the world be. & we're sorry. & we love our moms. & we know that we will have one just like us someday. oh, great!]

    ReplyDelete
  54. I've read this twice and haven't commented yet. Because I wasn't sure what to say. The whole we've all been there thing just doesn't seem to suffice.

    I had a similar experience when Otto was 3 weeks old..in Target of course.

    Cory had wandered off and left me with all 3 kids..a common occurrence.. and Faith broke free of her grip on the cart and bolted towards the lingerie, where she grabbed each bra and threw it on the floor while saying "these are for mommy's boobies" over and over again.

    And I was really embarrassed for about 10.7 seconds, until I realized you know what..FUCK (excuse me) these people. Anyone who's actually had more than one kid will totally understand, go home, and say a prayer for me. And anyone who either only has one kid or has none has NO idea what life is like for the rest of us. And they can just go to hell.

    Hold your head high, Erin. You are the mighty strong woman who was actually brave enough to go to Target with all 3 children. Something it took me MONTHS to do. And just think... these are the stories you can humiliate Clark with when he's 17 in front of the girl's he's like totally crushing on.

    ReplyDelete
  55. you guys are all really wonderful. thank you, fifty four times over.

    ReplyDelete
  56. As someone who has been there, *huge huge hugs* hon. Screw the people at Target. Really. Kids have little feelings and little idea of what is happening, they don't get paychecks and deposits and rejected cards and needing time to take care of things, they think of the "now" and what they need immediately, because they haven't learned all that other stuff yet. You are just fine, sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hi Erin.
    Gosh, i really with we lived closer because I would take you out and buy you lots of beer.

    I love honesty, it's true. I love telling people 'sometimes, I really suck.' And I love reading other people that I look up to and admire, when they admit that they too suck sometimes.

    You are inspiring and cool, and I am sure that if I knew you in the real world (aka not the bloggosphere) you would make it look easy, and I'd probably be hecka jealous. And then you would tell me this story... and we'd laugh and drink beer.

    I have a friend who has 4 boys under the age of 6 and she complains that everyone thinks she perfect....and she most certainly isn't. Her blog is refreshing and I think you would enjoy it.
    www.katiespepperpatch.blogspot.com

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  58. Love your babies and GOSH you're so beautiful!

    (hugs to easier days)

    Nell

    ReplyDelete
  59. Erin, I <3 you. You amaze me!

    And? I'm sorry I laughed a little bit. If it makes you feel better, I cried a little bit for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I needed to read this as my 3 year old has tantrumed ALL DAY LONG! I leave the room and swear. It's the only thing that makes me feel better. And I have a 10 week old who won't be put down. Thank goodness for carriers!

    Anyway, thank you for being real.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Erin, you are just wonderful. Really.
    I'm sorry you had a cruddy day. But thank you for sharing it with us. Because sometimes it's nice to know that we all have bad days.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I have SO been there. Thanks for writing this and letting me know that you go through it also.

    Beautiful, beautiful pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Yeah, any mother of young children who claims to never have had moments like this is either A)lying or B)never left the house with her children.

    Whenever things like this happen to me I don't know if I should loathe myself more for "letting" them happen or for the hours I spend sobbing over them once I get home.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I've SO been there! I also raised three under three - at one point three under two. The twins are now inches from three and the oldest guy is four.... and we still have days like this. Oh, how I feel your pain! ;) Thanks for sharing. While a blessing, kids can be HELL sometimes!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Oh my heavens, this was so stinkin' funny. I was laughing out loud - really. Tears streaming down my face. Thanks for providing comic relief to my day. ::HUGS:: Christy @ pureMotherhood

    ReplyDelete
  66. As the mom of a very shrieky (almost) 3-year-old and a 1 1/2 year-old, I've been in your shoes! You have my sympathy!

    ReplyDelete
  67. As we've all been there, and you have comments to prove it, I often wonder... why doesn't anyone step up to help? Everyone just stood there staring and no one stopped to say, "Here. Let me take care of that for you."???

    Amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Okay, I was right there with ya.....you were accurately describing our normal Target outing, right up until you fell and then I said aloud, "Oh,you poor woman"...truth be told, I would have totally gotten out of the line of "looky lou's" to come and help you out, I promise!

    Thank you for being so honest, I love your blog and I will follow along, if ya dont' mind! : )

    ReplyDelete
  69. I'm up late with pain in my legs (spine injury residue)and two vomiting children. None of it is easy. None of it. Worthwhile yes, but easy no. The part that makes me catch my breath is that NO ONE OFFERED TO HELP! Where do u live? Seriously. None of the staff, none of the people standing around staring. That's just poor form. The other thing is the money thing. My husband forgets to transfer money to our account so I am often standing there with our groceries and kids stretched and have to make time-consuming calls. No advice here. Just glad I'm in good company as a mum. Hugs. They get older and soon don't want to even walk into the same store as us. And my eight year old still tantrums. lol. I love what you say about making it look easier for you. I agree. I gotta make like I'm enjoying my job because it's permanent and I can't just walk away. Love your blog. Came here via The Happiest Mom, via Soulemama. What a wonderful discovery diversion. ;)

    ReplyDelete