another part that got thrown out: capital letters

today i thought a lot of things that seemed wise in the moment but i think it was just my brain playing tricks on the other parts of my brain, to stay motivated.  one of the things i was thinking seemed really complicated but i kept stripping it down and stripping it down, in my mind, until all that was left was, basically, that the grass is always greener.  which has been said before.  one of the parts that got untangled and thrown out was this long train of thought about perspective and how people always look at other people and see luck or ease or whatever, but a lot of times that other person actually just works really hard and doesn't complain.  not me.  i work medium hard and complain a medium amount.  but the people i want to be more like are the ones who work really hard and don't complain very much, because i think the complaining makes it all seem worse and the memories more stressful and i want very much to just tell everyone, yes, you're right, that sucks, and isn't life funny and you can do it and don't fret and buck up and sing a song.  those are the things i am telling myself during the medium amount of time i am choosing to not complain. but it's spring now, actual spring, so i'm upping the pep talk usage and bucking up and singing a song.  happy happy happy happy happy.  and that isn't even forced.  i feel it.  happy happy happy happy happy.

april is national poetry month and i'm thinking i will feature some of the old (elementary school through college) poetry, written by myself and luke, that we found in the garage this past weekend.  oh yes i will.



and saving the best for last, the randomly selected winner of the angelpack LX is...

(imagine me rolling the bingo numbers around)

gretchen from lifenut!

and i am emailing her to let her know this happy news now, thank you all for entering!



Fifty years ago today a young lady called her sister and told her she was having "the pains" every two or three minutes and her sister told her that that meant it was about time to go to the hospital.  But instead this lady made her husband breakfast and he ate it up and knowing her, she probably even tidied the kitchen.

And then they drove to the hospital.

And then forty five minutes later, her first baby,

my mom,

was born.

Happy 50th birthday Mommy.

Thank you for talking to me on the phone every single day.
Thank you for taking Alice to Kohl's like it was an emergency last week, when she told you she wanted Twinkle Toes shoes.
Thank you for sending me a text message that just said "I love you Erin" yesterday afternoon when I was not acting very lovable.

You are like my sister and my friend.  I'm so glad you are also my mom.




ANGELPACK GIVEAWAY! hooray hooray!

Today I am so excited to host a giveaway for one of my very favorite things!

Back in 2008 I spent hours (really, hours, I am compulsive like that) online researching the different baby carriers available, and I came across information about the Angelpack company that really made an impression on me.

Did you know that all Angelpack carriers are made by hand, by friends and family of the founder, in her home town in the Dominican Republic?

Or that ALL of their solid fabric combinations (I love their new fresco line) and a few of the printed fabrics are 100% certified organic cotton?

That both the Angelpack website and sewing house are powered by alternative energy?

Or that the company was started by a mama with an idea who sewed the first Angelpack herself?

Luke bought my Angelpack for me as a Christmas gift shortly after I decided it was the one for me, and the first thing I noticed (after the cute fabric) was how easy it is to put on, to adjust, and how COMFORTABLE it is to wear.   I knew I had chosen well and feel that way to this day. I love that I can still wear Alice, who is two and a half and about 33 pounds, and then easily adjust it one-handed when I put Hal, who is six months and 17 pounds, back in.  I love that I can pop my baby in and buckle it up so quickly, that curious heads in the preschool parking lot all turn and stare. I use it almost every single day and am so glad I found it.

Win it! Angelpack is giving one of you an Angelpack LX (retail $139) baby carrier! And they ship internationally, so this is open to all!

To enter leave a comment (make sure your email address/contact info is included somewhere so I can contact you if you win) telling me the craziest place you've worn your baby or which pattern from the ready-to-shop or pre-order sections of the Angelpack website you would choose or whatever else you want.  

For an additional entry, become a fan of Angelpack on Facebook and leave an additional comment letting me know you did. 

I'll choose a winner randomly after 11:59pm EST Tuesday, March 22.

I am still so grateful for all of your support when I lost my favorite baby carrier, and to Angelpack for gifting me a new one, providing one for this giveaway, and giving me the opportunity to share the babywearing love.

come on,
let's go...

hooray hooray!


or whatever

So the other night I had a nightmare.  Alice and Hal were gone.  That was the whole thing.  Clark and I were talking and talking and then we looked around and realized that Alice and Hal were gone.  It sure doesn't sound like much, but it gave me the nightmare sickness.  You know the nightmare sickness? The hollow feeling that you can't shake off even after you wake, the scared to move or look around the dark room, frozen, shaking sickness?  It gave me that. And I thought about saying my dream out loud to Luke, but I knew the words could not possibly carry the weight of feeling I had had and that he wouldn't understand at all and that that wasn't his fault, that's just how things are sometimes. Even real things. Even in the walking-around wide awake world.  There are lots of things, situations, feelings, encounters, passive aggressive conversations, little parts of the day -- things we can't explain.  So we end up plodding along with these feelings and emotions and problems that can't be understood or validated by others.  I know that that is life, and that it's okay, and it helps us grow or whatever.  But sometimes it is lonely.


Last night I had a very sore throat.  I looked in the mirror and there were bright red swollen bumps all over my tonsils.  I am overtired and overstretched and I prayed that it would go away.  And it did.  My throat is fine now. I just felt like telling the world.



clips show

I've realized that I am spreading myself too thin, internet-wise.  I open the computer at night, and am behind on everything.  Email and photos might (might) get checked-up and backed-up, but Hal is not a sleepy sleeper kind of kid and usually needs me a lot in the evening.  So I've been a little more addicted to my one-hand-friendly iPhone than I'd like. I have been telling all of my stories here and there, on instagram (I'm @swonderland, follow me!) or through twitter direct messages (I'm @swonderful, follow me!) or to myself as I fall asleep at night (I wish I could project those thoughts to a username, but that hasn't been invented yet.)

I have some really cool things in the works, for this blog, including something really really exciting early next week, so get ready and watch out.

And in the meantime, here is this... uh, instagram round-up, of sorts.  This is where I've been and what I've been doing.  Bits and pieces. 

I painted a wall in my kitchen with chalkboard paint, totally on a whim.  A random manic whim.  I regret it.

Happy six months, H.

They look so sweet, but they're saying things like, "I'm gonna whip you in the head!" and, "You're going in the dungeon."

Clark:  Actually, Alice, it says if you aren't careful that you will totally die.

Alice: I like matching, matching is fun.

(For) Me and My Gal

the very cute but not very sleepy baby boy

estate sale flare

alice drives the bus to the hotel.  clark backseat drives, and tells her to slow down.

We were totally out of food so Luke stopped at the store.  He came home with corndogs.  The kids didn't know what to think.  "I like my. . .  popsicle," Alice said.  "My popsicle is like a hamburger!"