a year ago today


we had no idea she would only be here on earth for four more months.

i have so many things to say about this and about her. too many to start anywhere. but first and foremost: my god, i miss her. more and more all the time. you think when someone dies that the hardest part is at first, when you know they are gone. but then you have to live with the never seeing them again.

i also want to link to this post because it says more than i have the energy to write out, today. but that place is truly gone now. truly gone. vacant and broken, just waiting to be emptied and sold.

and every time i watch this, i lose it. that song. oh my gosh. that song.

we took the kids to the pooh movie yesterday and it was very sweet and fun and memorable and a big first for us. but i would have much preferred to spend the day with her.


  1. all i can say is, i know.

    i drove my kids by my grandparents old house a few days ago and all of our old hang outs and it made me sad more than happy to see it all.

  2. my heart hurts Erin. Nothing fills the void when you lose a grandparent. So sorry she's gone

  3. Wow, so sorry, Erin. I'm praying for comfort for you and too, am glad we get to play this week!

  4. So sorry to hear of the pain behind this post. But in that photo I see so much light and joy. There's a secret between the old and new, something passed between the wrinkles of one face to the smooth, full cheeks of another. A Keane track would be a perfect match.

  5. I know how you feel completely. Thinking of you. xo

  6. I'm sorry you are navigating this place right now. I wish I could take you to lunch and hug you a million. And bake cookies with you and your kids. (That's more for me, isn't it?)

  7. the song in the pooh movie is by keane, their album that contains it is called hopes and fears and is my all time favorite album because all the songs on it are so great.

  8. I ugly, yet happy, cry at the Pooh trailer. Every. Time.

    Nothing hurts worse than losing a family member. The hole never goes away. You are loved and cherished and so was she and she is around you and with you always. I truly believe that.

  9. The photo is beautiful.

    And just last weekend, we were in my Grandma Alice's old neighborhood and I asked to drive by her house...almost 6 years after she died. I'm still struck by her death, but the sharp edges have dulled as time has passed.

    I watched the Pooh trailer for the zillionth time and my 14yo daughter noted that song always made her want to cry. You aren't alone.