5.14.2012

TMI

Have you noticed that I have been stepping away? Or maybe more like backing away, slowly. With my mouth open and my heart hanging all sad and dangling.

Were we designed to care about so many people?
All at once?

Not just in broad terms, but that so-and-so person I never really interact with on twitter has this neighbor with a daughter with a disease and it is all I can think about.

Is that the way it's supposed to be?

I know I am supposed to feel this Earthly life, but sometimes it's like I am feeling too much. Too much for one brain and one person.

I am exploding from the ten of thousands of people all tweeting and re-tweeting the worst thing they've ever heard.

I don't know if it is too much for mankind but I think it might be too much for me.

***

Linking up with Just Write because it is just what I felt like writing, right now, and also because Heather is one of my favorite prople.

20 comments:

  1. I know what you mean exactly.

    In fact, I talked about it in therapy because I obsess over people I may have never ever met and may never meet and their troubles just weigh on me so much. I feel like it cannot be normal. Are our brains meant to "know" this many people? I just don't think so.

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  2. I'm sad that you're still feeling like this. Have you started running again?

    And when can we get together again?

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  3. I'm sad that you're still feeling like this. Have you started running again?

    And when can we get together again?

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  4. I agree with you, and I think I might be... over the internet. It's just too much, and it takes emotions and time from my loved ones who deserve it and need it. I understand what you're saying.

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  5. Oh, yes. I know just what you mean and the image of pinpricks of light scattering all around my internal planetarium resonates so deeply. I don't know where to look, where to focus, and sometimes I feel like I will simply combust from so much feeling, so many demands on my attention. I hope this passes, though realize it's not as simple as that, but an evolving balance and an ever-shifting prioritization of needs and loves and where we put our one priceless thing, our attention. xox

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  6. I feel this way, all the time. It's part of why I hesitate to share too much when the bad things happen. I don't want to be the bad thing that floats through someone's stream. It's helped a lot that I don't click through to links when someone gives a hint that it's a horrible or upsetting story. I used to let my curiosity get the best of me, and I can't do that anymore. I can't watch the news or go to CNN.com. Even with all those precautions, it feels like so much. Miscarriages and loss of family members and illnesses and unemployment and children in peril and infertility and on and on and I know people going through all of those things right now, pure nightmares, and it keeps me up at night. It's a reminder of all that can go wrong in this life. One thing I do know is that I think it would be bad anywhere. My mom is forever telling me stories about what people at her job are going through and stories she's heard on the news, so I think this would be happening to me (and maybe you) even if we did step back from the social media. Even still, I get that urge to pull away and wrap up my heart in a big fuzzy blanket so no more sad can get in. I hope you can find a safe spot, because your face is always a bit of light in all that dark of the internet.

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  7. The gift of compassion can be a heavy weight sometimes. But we aren't really called to carry it all by ourselves, then it becomes a burden not a gift. I know what you mean, the way all the words and needs of others can become overwhelming. Nice to meet you through Just Write.

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  8. I've noticed, and I've missed you. But at the same time it all makes perfect sense. I don't want to not care about all of those people that I've never met, but caring about ALL of them is mind-boggling and heart wrenching... and now that my little is not so little, her worries, her joys, her realities demand my time, my care, my attention.

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  9. I have felt like this and it's why I had to pull away. Still popping by here, though. xo be well, sweet friend.

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  10. Oh, it's overwhelming....very, very overwhelming. Perfectly stated.

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  11. I hear you, Erin, and I miss you. This is why I left.

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  12. It's a lot to take in. It's a lot to distract, and a whole lot to feel. It really is.

    Steph

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  13. OH how I love you. You said this in a way that my heart has been trying to say it for a long time.

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  14. Yeah. I had to quit Twitter. I can only handle so much. This is also one of the reasons that I don't have a t.v. and I only keep up with the bare minimum as far as news goes. There's such a thing as too much information. I feel helpless when it's all awful all of the time, and I can't do anything about it.

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  15. I get this. Sometimes it's all just much-too-much.

    Sometimes I want to give it all up - the FB, the twitter, the knowing.

    But, I really don't...b/c I still find value in the knowing too.

    stephanie@metropolitanmama.net

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  16. i am so impressed about the running post. keep writing... seriously. i agree about twitter. not a fan myself.

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  17. This is the exact reason I don't watch the news. Anything big enough will make it to me via people I interact with on a daily basis. Twitter became too much to follow. Now I hardly use it except to search for information, or to tweet contest entries or a few random what-nots.

    I have felt your lack of activity here, and I miss you. You feel like some long lost part of myself. I think you are like that for more people, too.

    I think Madeline is right - there's only so much one person can deal with at a time. Your cup runneth over already taking care of your precious little family.

    I prescribe watching all of "My So-Called Life" on Netflix. Or a season of "Gilmore Girls" or a boxed set of Audrey Hepburn movies. Or "Doc Martin" - I think he's on Netflix?

    Retreat from the onslaught of depressing issues and take yourself to the thrift store, stop at an old-school ice cream stand and get a twist cone with twinkle coat, and lay out on the lawn looking up at the sky.

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  18. I can understand that. It's overwhelming at times...

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  19. i heard myself telling my man a story about a person who knew someone who had something horrible to them. partway through he looked at me and said 'wait, who was this again? do we know them?'
    i paused.
    'no. we don't.'
    i stopped telling the story and realized something.
    i have room for these things. but it's the edging. the fringe. i mean, we're all connected, yes. and the human experience means we are affected by the tragedies and the triumphs of others. i think blogging and the like is, in the fundamental sense, a way of connecting and i don't think it's all negative.
    balance.
    time away is good, if that's what you need.
    space.
    breath.
    and if you want to come back and share, there will be a whole gaggle of us here to listen.
    and if you don't, hey, at least there's instragram! :-)

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